The Dark Side of Fitness: Body Dysmorphia & its Impact on Mental Health
- Chris Roy
- 2 days ago
- 8 min read
You think if you just get lean enough, jacked enough, cut enough…
You’ll finally feel confident.
You’ll finally get attention.
You’ll finally be enough.
That’s what the mirror tells you. That’s what your mind tells you.
But what if they’re lying?
Here’s the truth: no amount of muscle or ab definition will ever cover up the insecurities you have, the discontent you have for yourself, the fear of rejection or the weight of other people’s perceptions.
The only one that gets fooled is you – and even then, it is a mirage that only lasts so long. Because an identity cannot be built from the things we see.
Read that again – its important.
Aesthetics are not bad. It’s okay to want to look good – and you should to a degree. But if that’s all you’re chasing???
You’re building a house on sand.
And sooner or later, the tide will rise.
The mirror provides us a short-term dopamine hit, but no long-term fulfillment. No matter what you see in the reflection, it’s never enough. There will always be something that you can pick apart or find dissatisfaction with. Not because you're truly unhappy with your physique, but because you are unhappy with yourself. Body dysmorphia is an identity problem that uses the physique as its scapegoat.
I am not saying all this to be overly critical or to put anyone down – I am speaking from a place of experience.
I’m about to do something I’ve never done before – I’m going to pull the curtain back and let you into my personal life. Not only to help lend some insight and hopefully help some guys out there that resonate with the things I’m saying, but also because I am still in the midst of this journey myself, and digging deeper on these ideas can help give me better insight and understanding of these realizations.
The Turning Point
Training saved my life. I was headed down a bad path. I was a very sickly kid, in and out of the hospital for years with all sorts of conditions and ailments. I lived off medications to give me any semblance of a “normal” life. Furthermore, I coped with food. I ate horribly. Tons of fast food, pizza, soda, etc.
It wasn’t until a doctor’s appointment when I was 14 years old and they told me my blood pressure was elevated that I finally woke up. They had said it was likely just anxiety from being in the doctor’s office, but nonetheless, it opened my eyes. My life changed that day. I went cold turkey on all fast food, pop, and my sedentary ways. I began running and eating baked chicken breast every day.
No way I was going back to the hospital.
What took place over the next 5-6 years was nothing short of incredible – as I took about as close to a 180 as you can take. I was obsessed – some might even say possessed – when it came to training and dialing in my diet.
Once a pudgy, soft and shy kid – an outcast amongst my peers wanting to fit in – I was now a ripped and somewhat arrogant 17-year-old who embraced being the outcast. Only now I was an outcast because I knew nobody else at my school was putting in the work I was putting in.
No one was training harder. No one was as meticulous with their diet as I was.
At the time, it felt like discipline. But in hindsight, it was fear wrapped in focus.
This gave me justification for being an outcast – because now this was my choice. I had power over the situation, and I was in control of the narrative.
This transformation was life changing. Not only did it save me from going down a dark and unhealthy path, but it also gave birth to my true passion and calling and birthed the dawn of what would become my career. My obsession not only led to my personal transformation, but it also began a never-ending journey of attaining knowledge on training, health and the human body. Knowledge I would then begin to use to help positively impact the lives of everyone I worked with over the next 15 years.
Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, this would also be the birth of a dysfunctional way of thinking. I began to use training and altering my physique as a means of taking control. Furthermore, I hung my hat on my physique to be my sense of credibility.
You see, I started training people professionally at the age of 19. Knowing I had no practical experience, I overcompensated by being in better shape than any trainer around me. Once again, I embraced the “outcast” role and separated myself by pushing my training and physique to the next level.
Are you starting to see a pattern here???
When the Body Becomes the Burden
As I went through life, gained more experiences and continued to level up, I would push my training so I could feed off the confidence boost it gave me. Always needing to be in the 1% of whatever level I am on.
Furthermore, as life went on and dealt me some shit sandwiches and gut punches, I leaned on my training and pushing my body to regain that sense of control. No matter what happens, I always had that. The only problem is, you can only lean on that and use it as an outlet so much.
There were times I pushed my body too far, and it began to push back. It was telling me,
“Yo man, we need to chill the f*ck out. Like now.”
This wasn’t just about soreness or burnout. My body was waving a white flag.
You see, training can be a great stress reliever for most people. But the thing to keep in mind is that training is also a stress in of itself. For most people, breaking a sweat and pushing their bodies a bit gives them a great break and relief of the mental stresses they accumulate through their everyday lives.
For myself, however, someone who has been pushing their limits consistently for a decade, it begins to be too much very quickly because it takes so much effort to reach and push my current physical limit.
What resulted were borderline neurological issues that presented themselves as violent, full-body muscle twitches that kept me from sleeping for 4 days. Or getting to such a low body fat percentage that my hair started falling out at an alarming rate. And these are just the physical casualties I experienced. There were many instances over the years where I put strain on my relationships and missed out on many experiences because of the way I chose to live my life – so unwavering in my mindset.
What started out as a quest to take my life into my own hands in order to improve my health, has now come full circle.
I had become my own biggest detriment.
This is the dark side of fitness. The side no one talks about.
It can give so much, but if left unchecked – if you don’t understand yourself fully – it can take away so much too.
Take away your peace and your wellbeing. Because the physique comes at the cost of your mental health.
What started as empowerment became a prison. I was building a shell—and mistaking it for a self.
Yes, I was able to help and positively impact so many people’s lives over the years. I can take some solace in that fact. However, so much of my time and energy was spent on something so trivial. Something that really means nothing at all.
All because I was scared. Running from something that could never be outrun.
Disdain for myself. For being weak. For being sick. For forcing those around me to accommodate me and care for me. For then allowing that to shape my perception of myself. For being shy and scared to put myself out there. Fear of rejection. Of not being accepted.
So instead, I just leaned into being different. I wrapped my identity into it – into training. Into my body. Not because I wanted to – but because I was too afraid to find out who I might have been otherwise. My self-worth was completely contingent on what I looked like with my shirt off.
It sounds so messed up to say that out loud. It’s actually ridiculous – but its 100% true.
For some it might not be self-inflicted like it was for me. Somewhere along the line you might of let someone else make you feel like you weren’t good enough – and it stuck. You started comparing yourself to everyone else and have never been satisfied since.
Because comparison is the thief of joy. You live for validation, not self-respect.
And worst of all? You miss the point of training in the first place.
It’s unfortunate that it took me this long to come to this realization, but we have indeed finally arrived to it.
So now the question becomes – what do we do about it?
Training is a Tool – Not a Throne
Training allows us to be better. It should translate to the rest of our lives – not be our lives. Training gave me so much and it did save my life. But there needs to be balance.
Training isn’t just about building muscle. It’s about building and cultivating the virtues that allow you to build a life you can be proud of.
Things like commitment, conviction, discipline, sacrifice, integrity, and goal setting.
Training gives us the purest environment to build these things within our lives – so we can sharpen them and then translate them to other endeavors. Endeavors that allow us to serve and fulfill our higher purpose.
A strong, healthy body is not just the by-product, but it’s also the evidence that you’re honoring your life with effort, direction and self-love. Mastering the application of these virtues throughout your life will provide a sense of accomplishment and pride a good mirror selfie could never come close to fulfilling.
The mirror can be helpful. It shows progress of your efforts. But it’s not the scoreboard. We cannot get captivated by what it tells us.
You know what’s more important?
How you show up for others.
Whether you can keep your word - especially to yourself.
Whether people respect you when you walk into a room.
Whether you can lead, protect, and inspire other people.
The mirror reflects your image. But your life? That reflects your character.
And character is what your sons will emulate, your wife will trust, and your friends and peers will follow.
Train for that.
That’s the real scoreboard.
When you shift from aesthetics to mission, everything changes.
You train with a sense of gratitude because you are no longer a slave to training.
You recover better and begin to fully appreciate what it means to be fit.
Your mind is set free from the burden of expectation.
You grow confidence that doesn’t depend on likes or attention because you are finally training for YOU and not for the perception of others.
You build a version of yourself that lasts beyond the mirror.
If you’re a man struggling with identity, confidence, or your sense of worth—I’ve been there. And I’m building this platform to walk with you.
You’re not alone. I am on this journey myself – I just might be further along at the moment.
And I can tell you, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep going.
I got your back,
Chris